“Eat better. Run more. Squat more. Sleep earlier. Wake up earlier. Make a good breakfast. Drink water. Eat fruits. Read books. Adventure. Talk less. Listen more. Feel deeper. Love better. Open your eyes. Experience life. Be happy.”—(via therealkristabeniga)
I’m attracted to intelligence. Not the book smart type of intelligence. I could care less whether you’ve gone to college or how much money you make because of it. I like intelligent conversations that make me think even hours after it’s ended. I soak up words from radical minds.
The first time a man slapped me on the ass, I was fourteen years old, bussing tables at a family restaurant.
Catcalls make me jump out of my skin. I have never figured out how to take them as a compliment.
When I learned that “no” did not always stop slipping lips and wandering hands, I was sixteen. I was told that it was my fault for being tempting. I haven’t left the house with shorts on for years. It makes me nervous to be alone somewhere with another person when I have a dress on.
I always get uncomfortable when men make jokes about why women go to the bathroom in groups. Nobody likes to hear that we are taught from the youngest age that we should never go anywhere alone.
The second time that “no” did not stop someone, my date pulled up in front of my house and hit the door lock, wrapped his hand around my throat because I told him I just thought we should be friends.
The third time, I was sprawled out on a hammock in the front lawn with a man I’d been out with a handful of times. When I first said “no”, I thought maybe he didn’t hear me. “Please no, please don’t”. “Please no, please don’t.” “Please no, please don’t.”
Once I was told by a man that it was my fault if he ever went too far because his brain was wired like an animal. I didn’t argue. Can you believe that I didn’t argue? I wanted to say that even my dogs recognize the word “no”, but I was afraid of how he would react. I had to sit through the rest of the date with a smile on my face.
I carry my keys just to walk to the mailbox at night. I’m too paranoid to jog down my street alone.
I have been groped on the sidewalk. I have been groped at the bar. I have been groped on the bus.
The time I was followed all the way to my friend’s car by a group of men who stood around laughing and jeering and banging on the windows, not letting us pull out of the parking garage, was the last time I ever let a man buy me a drink at a bar.
I have men in my life who would call themselves my friends who have put their hands on my hips and my thighs without my permission. There is no question. They do not think they have to ask. They laugh when I bristle.
It took twenty-two years to realize only I had a right to my body.
I used to bite my tongue, but I do not say “no” quietly anymore. I bark my discomfort like an old dog, weary and uncomfortable even in its sleep.
”—"this is not a fucking poem; it is an outrage (I Spent Twenty-Two Years Trying To Be Nice About It)" Trista Mateer (via arpeggiated)
1:Close your eyes and think of five things that make you smile when you think about them. What are they?
2:If your house was on fire and you had sixty seconds to leave, what would you take with you?
3:When you're alone in the middle of the night and you can't quite get to sleep, what do you think about? "Going to sleep" doesn't count.
4:What is love to you?
5:What is the opposite of love?
6:Is it possible to love someone if you don't love yourself?
7:Do you believe mutual attraction based on mutual hatred is possible?
8:Is it better to have something amazing and lose it or to never have had it to begin with?
9:Do you focus more on the past, the present, or the future?
10:Do you judge people for what they wear or how they express themselves?
11:Do you believe in individuals over generalisations?
12:When you're very scared or worried, what do you think about or do to help you feel better?
13:How do you feel about what happens after death?
14:Would you rather live a hedonistic life full of good things that make you feel good even if they're bad for you, or a healthy life centered around treating your body like a sacred temple and watching your health as closely as possible? Or do you not care either way?
15:Do you think you can tell a lot about a person from the way they express themselves or answer questions like these?
16:Do you have any special or magical memories you'll always have with you?
17:How would you define yourself, without saying your name or giving a physical description of yourself or your obvious personality?
18:When do you feel truly at peace?
19:Do you like having your worldview or opinions challenged or questioned?
20:Do you believe happiness can exist without sadness?
21:Is there a reason for existence?
22:Do you think the world existed before you did?
23:Do you believe people need breaks from each other, even if they're deeply in love?
24:What do you find most beautiful in people?
25:Do you take questions like these literally or pick up on what they really mean?
“Do not fall in love with people like me.
I will take you to
museums, and parks, and monuments,
and kiss you in every beautiful
place, so that you can
never go back to them
without tasting me
like blood in your mouth.
I will destroy you in the most
beautiful way possible.
And when I leave
you will finally understand,
why storms are named after people.”—(via make6your6choice6)